来源： 作者： 时间：2008-07-24 点击：

 

The Last Letter for Lele
                                                   19:43p.m. 5 th Jan. 2005
Dear Lele,
     I thought I could get along well with you and could live well in this term. But now I can’t. Originally, I thought I had nothing to do with you. And yet, I don’t know why I send this letter to you. I hope you can read it carefully. And then write a letter back to me, even one word. OK?
     Why are you not here with me? Shall we break up like this? Forever part?
     You are not around me indeed. She is now taking care of you instead of me. Actually, I should say that she is always fitting to take care of you. And me, I admit, is just a substitute.
     I have thought of that you were loving me. But the fact is not like what I thought, isn’t it?
     You don’t need to doubt about my love towards you. I believe that I am the person who loves you most except your mother.
     I won’t ask you not to smoke too often, or not to make friends with some bad men, or not to learn something bad, or to take good care of yourself… for I have been deprive of that qualification.
     I am yearning about the time when I was with you, the happy times. Actually, I have never regret for what I have sacrificed for you these years. It is worth of having loved you in my life.
     As for what you have done to me, I have no words. We should replace it with silence. You said you loved me before, but I wonder if that is your true view. Or you said it like that in order to comfort me. Now I am confused about it.
     Though, I said I wanted to forget you, how can I forget if I have loved you with all my heart? Can I? Can I do it? No, I can! Do you know?
     Don’t you remember these words you said to me? You said you wouldn’t break up with me and you would make me become the happiest woman in the world, didn’t you? Have you said like this? Have you?
     Please forgive me for my previous self-indulgence. I can’t conquet to you and do this or that for you any more…
     It’s true that you have left me. Yes. I have said to forget and not to think or recall more about that, since every time I recalling, I will feel fainful. My broken heart can’t be oversewed again. If there exists eternity, if the god gives me one more chance, I will love you more and won’t let you leave me again. I will change myself, really.
     We don’t care for who is right or who is wrong, if possible. Remember that is fine if only we have ever loved each other before. Can I live up to it? Can I remember? Maybe you will consider me selfish for my denying of your kindness to me before. It is true in real life. You don’t need me any more and you leave me. I have begged you to come back to my life and I couldn’t live without you. But you hurt me and broke my heart again and again, haven’t you?
     When she came here to meet you, can you imagin how was my feeling? Maybe you wouldn’t think about it. Can you remember that I said I didn’t care. In fact, how couldn’t I care? Have you ever tasted of my kindness to you these years with your heart. You have said you would love me forever. Have you done it ?
     I really felt disappointed on you. Though you have the right to choose you love, why didn’t you tell me earlier? Maybe I wouldn’t hate you so deeply; maybe I wouldn’t be so sad; or maybe there wouldn’t be so many troubles. I have given you opportunities no less than once, but, every time, it was you that said broke up with me. It was you that didn’t need me, wasn’t it? I have told you that if you really fell in love with other girl, you must tell me about it… You said you could give up all you had at present for the sake of her. I understood. When you went to meet her, did you thought about me? Could you hear my heart’s crying? How difficult for us to develope our love. We have experienced too much. Maybe be we are too tired, are we?
     Tell you the truth that I can’t forgive you. We can’t be friends any longer. I can’t indeed. Perhaps you haven’t thought of my my forgiving you or we can be friends. I really don’t want to think of you if I can. Unluckily, what in my mind is only you. I miss your words. I miss the happy hours when we were together… I wonder if I am choosing to escape. I acknowledge of my recreance and of my fearness of accepting the truth. You make me feel that I have been deceived, do you know?
     On the evening of 28 th, September, we break up. Can you still remember? When I moved out from the house which I had considered as our world on that day, could you imagin how my heart felt? I felt broken-hearted, and I couldn’t forget in my life. I burned all my memory at Mujiang River that night. I have forgotten how I passed that night. Can you imagin that all the memory was burning in the fire? Did you know that my heart was bleeding? It seemed that I got to a dark place where I couldn’t see my fingers. It was so quiet that I could nearly hear my heart crying. Everywhere was dark and I felt helpless. Do you know all of these?
     I have thought a lot. In fact, it was wrong for us to become lovers. It was predeterminate that we had no lots. I believed in lots before, nut now I believe in nothing. I was really wrong. Maybe there is a long distance between us, Maybe we weren’t fit for each other, thus just a distance of a turning about made you go to her. Could this attribute to me --- I treated you not well enough… It was me who have accompanied with you these years. Who was I in heart? I hope your choice is right. It is the same towards you or her.
     I don’t want my to keep being hurt like this, so I have drew you into blacklist. Looking at the previous chatting record, I feel sweet for there is happiness, quarrel, joys and sorrows… but I got used to searching for your QQ. I didn’t want to see it but I saw it every time. I am so acquaintaint with ******* and ******, and I take it as my passwords. These figures are all of my life. I am familiar with everything concrens you. I can’t deny the love towards you. Can you remember what I have said? I said that Jinhua was my second home since there were too much memory of us in this city. I said that I would stay in Jinhua. But now I can’t. I don’t want to come here again. I feel saddest here and I leave my pain here…
     My heart broke again and again. I can’t find a reason to strenthen myself. Please don’t be so cruel to me. My heart is unbearable. I can’t stand such one after another blows any more.
This is the last time I write to you. I was planned to write to you in pen, but… Finally, I decided to write the letter by e-mail. I hope you can save it well. I don’t know how to express my real mood…
I don’t know if I will forget you in my lifetime. Maybe yes, maybe no. How do you think? I have the same words for you: I will be happy and pleasant as long as you live a good life ~~~~~ Will you think of me if someone mentions Snow (the writer’s name) to you? Will you still remember a girl have loved you with her full heart? What can help me to forget you maybe is the time…however… there are too many reasons…
                                                          Yours lovely,           
 
       
    
(Translation/ Meng Xiaoli)
Source : Women’s Home Club Nvxing.com

精选评论
1.女性 Love Story The Last Letter for Lele.........

(不能超过250字，请自觉遵守互联网相关政策法规,审核后才发表出去。)

用户名： 密码： 匿名

（注册用户名和密码）

[查看所有评论] [收藏] [推荐] [评论] [打印] [关闭] [返回顶部] [打印本页] [关闭窗口]